Firstly, in this ‘born again’ version of a post from over a year ago, I must start with a serious note.
A few days ago it was the anniversary of the death of Prince Charles Edward Stuart, ‘The Young Pretender’, in Rome, in 1788.
After leading the ’45 rebellion, Stuart slid into a life of obscurity. ‘Known as the Duke of Albany, with a failed marriage behind him, and his dreams of a Stuart restoration unfulfilled, he ended his days as an alcoholic in Rome‘. (Wonder if it was Johnnie Walker who finally brought him down?)
I only mention this riveting fact because my ancestors were Scottish (did I already mention that?) and Bonnie Prince Charlie was, ‘One of European history’s most romantic figures, at the heart of a tragic tale of loyalty and devotion. The Young Pretender led a futile quest to save the very soul of Scotland.’ Oh my… how noble is that?
And I believe my ancestors helped Rob Roy to help that particular Charlie to escape and fight another day. But the major point of this article is to help ‘others’ to understand a most important fallacy about those ‘braw, braw lads’ of Scotland. (translation: super brave)
Scottish people are often described as ‘dour’
(the dictionary definition says – relentlessly severe, stern, or gloomy in manner or appearance), not actually backed up by the photo above, but it certainly is proof of this characerisation –
‘The Scots can be dour but equally they can flash with inspiration.
They delight in self-deprecating humour.’
For historic reasons, they (and most of their descendants) have never stopped their ‘baiting’ –
‘The English only have a “stiff” upper lip because they put Viagra in their tea!
How many Englishmen does it take to batter down a castle gate?
100 to hold the ram and 9,900 to move the castle back and forth.
The Scots devised a few droll answers, after countless years of being asked the burning question –
“WHAT DO YOU WEAR UNDER YOUR KILT?”
How badly do you want to know?
How warm are your hands?
Me mother once told me a real lady wouldn’t ask…
she was right, God bless ‘er.
My Scottish pride.
Sorry, I’m a bit shy and not much good with words. Give me your hand…
A wee set of pipes.
String – I had to tie it up so it didn’t hang below the kilt.
… and to the slightly rephrased question –
“WHAT’S WORN UNDER YOUR KILT?”
Nothing is worn, everything is in perfect working order.
Pardon? You still doubt Scottish humour and creativity? Aww come on…but if you insist, and only because my Scottish ancestry demands I show it one more time… (no apologies – for the humour OR my ancestry!), here are some of the top comments on Facebook way back then (last year, that is), following the distribution of that gorgeous photo.
Lyle Rich My great, great, great, great Grandfather was killed the by the great kitten of Aberdeen
Marcus Mc The only thing more deadly than a carefully aimed kitten is the fearsome Scots women. They traditionally charged into battle bare chested and wielding an 8lb baby. Impervious to harsh language and arrows, each woman would fire ladels full of scalding hot broth at enenmy combatants thus clearing the way for a charge of the main battle cat divisions.
Blair Dornan You can all mock if you like but the battle cat was a valuable war asset and is what allowed Scotland to remain independent from England for so many years until the great Haggis shortage of 1706 forcing the Scots to sell their battle kittens to the English in exchange for deep fried Mars bars eventually leading a defenseless Scotland to sign the acts of union in 1707
Mark Turner “Hell hath no fury like a kitten sporran’d.”
Eileen Wilson This was in fact the original catapult which some say was originally “cat in pelt” and others claim it came from ” a cat a pult outa ma spurran”.
Scott Gothard Everyone knows that the reason Scottish clansmen invented bagpipes, which sound like an enraged cat sounding it’s battle screech, was a shortage of battle cats in the early years of attempted English military aggression against the clans.
Leland Eiben So that is why where are 3 fur danglely things put on a sporran. So, to keep the kitten amused between battles. This tends to keep the kitten ready for battle at a moments notice.
Katie Watts No indeed. Those are cosmetic brushes — every soldier fights better when s/he’s put on a touch of blusher and eyeshadow
Todd Jackson Nothing more fierce than a Scot wielding a battle cat smelling like a cairn, hopped up on haggis with a full Sporran O’battle kittens.
Rab Murray …..it’s why Sporrans have leather backs – an improvement designed by a guy called Claude Balls
Brett Morgan Unfortunately, Battle Kittens weren’t as effective as hoped in the fight for independence from England, however, they proved more effective than the idea of the Irish ‘War Puppy’
David Mccann what was more devastating was the Scots were hurling huge vats of porridge by giant sling shots,and refusing to to add any cream or sugar.this so devastated the Sassenachs,they were forced to retreat,and were reduced to eating cornflakes on the long march home.
Ernest J Maurizi Oh those Contrarian Scotts, while the rest of the world went to battle in search of fresh pussy…..the Scotts bring their old stuff from home..
Do I detect a predominance of Scottish surnames above? (Except for my favourite – the gorgeous ‘Graham‘ clan. Ohh… did I not tell you my maiden name was ‘Graham‘?)
Oh yes, and just before I go – an old Scottish joke that a friend shared in her comments when the original post was published (she tells me it was one of her Mother’s and it’s very old) –
Q. How many canaries can you fit under a Scotsman’s kilt?
A. It depends how long the perch is.
Guid cheerio the nou!